编者按： 今年早申阶段，我校12年级徐同学成功获得梦校克莱蒙特·麦肯纳学院的录取通知。克莱蒙特·麦肯纳学院（简称CMC），是美国顶级私立文理学院，也是美国最难录取的文理学院之一，2023US News文理学院排名第9。 今年CMC在中国大陆只录取3位同学，徐同学是其中之一。上海宏润博源国际学校升学分享，一起来看看。

Editor's Note: At this year’s ED stage, Sean Xu, a 12th grader of SHBS was successfully admitted to Claremont McKenna College, his dream institution. As a top private liberal arts college, CMC is also one of the most difficult to apply for in the United States, and ranks 9th among all the liberal arts colleges on 2023 US News. This year, CMC has only planned to enroll three students from Chinese mainland, and we are proud that Sean is one of them.

一起来看一下徐同学的分享吧，干货满满，不容错过！

Read the following article Sean has shared with us, and you will surely benefit a lot from it.

徐同学被魔都择校观采访时的分享

兴趣广泛、加权GPA全校名列前茅

我平时其实有很多兴趣爱好，比如吉他弹唱，健身，徒步，阅读等等。在申请季结束后，我处在一个比较松弛的状态，也会在出国前花更多的时间在这些方面进行沉淀，提升自己。

Actually, I have many hobbies, such as playing the guitar and singing, working out, hiking and reading etc. Feeling more relaxed since the application season is over, I will spend more time developing my hobbies so that I can improve myself before studying abroad.

简单提一下成绩

在校内GPA方面，我的加权GPA在全校名列前茅：4.74.非加权GPA也在3.95 （10年级至现在各科全A）。 由于我们学校主要是AP课程体系，我在G10、11、12分别学习了3门、7门、4门AP。其中11年级所学的AP课程由于疫情取消了考试，目前仅有G10的三门AP，均为5分。

In terms of GPA at school, I have got 4.74, among the highest weighted GPAs of the whole school,and even my unweighted GPA is 3.95 (I have been a straight A since I was a 10th grader). As our school mainly adopts an AP curricular system, I took 3, 7, and 4 AP courses in my 10th, 11th and 12th grade respectively. So far I have got straight 5’s in the only 3 AP exams I took in my 10th grade because the AP exams I was to take in my 11th  grade were canceled due to the covid-19 pandemic.

当幸福来敲门，一股不真实感袭上心头

在offer发放的前一晚，我躺在床上辗转反侧，一心只想能一觉睡到第二天早上9点，以免经历offer发放前的各种忐忑。 然而事与愿违，整整一夜都处于半梦半醒的状态。天微微亮的时候，我意识到，这个决定我未来几年学习体验的时刻即将到来。 于是乎，六点左右我就起了床，尝试了各种方式试图平静疯狂跳动不安的心脏。最后在清晨的冷风中站桩了半小时后，把对offer的执念降到最低时，点开了学校官网。 当满屏飘彩与烟花映入眼帘的时候，预想中收到offer的狂喜并没有到来，反而一种异样的不真实感与淡然的欣慰感同时占据了我的内心——好像一切都如梦似幻般美丽，又如一切就该如此自然地发生。 收到offer的瞬间是一个开始，象征着未来四年崭新的体验，也是一个终点，意味着一个能够客观反观过去阶段的重要契机。

The night before my offer was released, I was lying in bed tossing and turning, hoping to sleep until 9:00 a.m. the next day to avoid feeling upset. Contrary to what was expected, however, I was half asleep the whole night. As the day dawned, I realized that the moment that would determine my learning experience for the next few years was coming. So I got up around 6:00 and tried various ways to calm my frantically beating heart. Finally, after standing in the cold morning air for half an hour, I clicked on the school's website when I had minimized my obsession with the offer. When the colorful screen and fireworks came into my eyes, the expected ecstasy of receiving an offer did not come, but a strange sense of unreality and slight relief occupied my mind at the same time - I felt as if everything were as beautiful as a dream, and as if everything should happen so naturally. The moment I received the offer was a beginning of my new experience in the next four years to come, and also an end, meaning an important opportunity for me to objectively reflect on my past.

宏润博源给我提供了充足的发展空间

我所在的高中是一所年轻的学校，我们是第五届毕业生。不过，它是由一支管理和教学经验丰富的团队组成。对我来说，我们学校非常宝贵的一点，就是为我们提供了清净独立的学习环境与充足的个人发展空间。

My high school is a relatively new one, and we are the 5th graduating class. However, it has a team of experienced managing and teaching staff. In my view, the most valuable things our school has provided us are a quiet and separate learning environment and plenty of opportunities for us to develop and improve ourselves.

我们学校处在上海青浦区，坐拥独立的校园与美景，给人一种小桃花源般超然事外的环境体验。同时，我们的课程系统非常多元、个性化，它允许每个学生根据自身的学习特点选择最合适的课程，探索各个学科领域，帮助我们扬长避短。

Our school is located in Qingpu District, Shanghai. We have our own beautiful campus, which looks like a fictitious land of peace and beauty. Meanwhile, our school offers a very diversified and individualized curricular system, which allows each student to choose the most appropriate courses based on their own academic status and to explore various subject areas so that we can build on our strengths and avoid our weaknesses.

在我们学校，只要愿意尝试，各类机会都比较容易获得，我们也能经常表达对这个社区建设的声音：参选学生会、成立社团、在北辰论坛发声等等。学校的人文氛围相对民主和自由，鼓励学生建立自己独立的思考辩证能力。除此之外，学校也提供了一个宽广的舞台让我们施展才能，让我们常常走出课堂，与外部的世界建立链接。我们每学期还必须报名参加至少2场CAS活动，这一点我觉得挺好的，因为我们的成长离不开活动，这些活动能滋润我们的性格成长，帮助我们进行自我探索，挖掘出自己的潜能。

At our school, we have access to nearly all kinds of opportunities as long as we are willing to try, and we can often voice our opinions on the construction of our community: running for ASB, founding clubs, expressing our views at the Beicheng Forum, etc. Immersed in the democratic, free and humanistic atmosphere provided by our school, we are encouraged to think independently and critically. In addition, the school has also provided a broad stage for us to show our talents, allowing us to connect with the outside world by participating in various extracurricular activities. We also have to sign up for at least 2 CAS events each semester. I have found it beneficial because we can't grow up without participating in events that can develop our characters, help us explore ourselves and tap our potential.

老师给到我们很多支持

老师和同学的关系更像互相尊重的朋友，并且老师会在最大程度上鼓励学生去争取机会、参加活动、展示自我。同时，因为师生比例低，任课老师对每位学生的了解程度也非常高，所以在提前沟通的情况下，我们能很顺利拿到老师的推荐信。

The relationship between teachers and students at our school is more like the one between friends who respect each other, and the teachers try their best to encourage students to seize the opportunities, participate in activities, and present themselves. Meanwhile, as the teacher-student ratio is low, the teachers know each student very well,we are able to get teachers to write recommendation letters for us if we have asked them for help beforehand.

当学生迈入申请阶段，学校也会分享多方面的资讯以供同学加深对升学/择校流程的了解。学校会有专门的升学导师团队负责对接每一位同学进行指导与背书。就我的申请而言，外方校长Chris与几位升学老师用心地跟进、沟通对我帮助很大。

At students’application stages, the school shares a variety of information to help students better understand how to apply for colleges and how to choose from colleges. The school has a dedicated team of college counselors to guide and support each student. Chris, and other college counselors helped me a lot by following up and interacting with me heart and soul throughout my application process.

同学们之间的相处氛围很好

在校学生之间其实并没有激烈竞争的气氛，我认为这反倒是一件好事。这样学生就不会在peer competition中收到打击，而是能够根据自身情况去做出评估，制定合适的学习计划。

I think it is good that there is no fierce competition among schoolmates because students wouldn’t be overwhelmed by peer competition, but instead, they can make an appropriate academic plan by estimating their own circumstances.

活动和课业并不冲突

在课业外，学会享受生活也是一项必修的技能。我在闲暇之余往往会抱着吉他弹上一曲，虽然技术业余，但这是我释放压力的最佳途径。我也常常会在舒适的天气下坐在学校的草坪上读一本书，以跳出特定局面的局限，提升思维的深度与广度，以更高效地开展行动。

Learning to enjoy life during extracurricular time is also a necessary skill. I often play my guitar in my spare time, which is the best way for me to cope with stress though I am only an amateur player. I also often sit on the school lawn reading a book when the weather is fine in order to think deeply and broadly beyond the limitations of a particular situation so that I can act more efficiently.

个人而言，我在繁忙的校内课程之外，还组织/参与了大量的社会组织与活动，老师们也都会非常支持我的活动。

Personally, I have joined many social organizations and participated in a large number of activities despite my busy school schedule, and all my teachers supported me greatly in my participation in those activities.

我认为参与课外活动与社会实践与课业的精进并不是冲突的，恰恰相反，我认为它们属于一种互补的关系。

I don't think that participation in extracurricular activities and social practice is in conflict with the improvement of academic work; On the contrary, I think they complement each other.

参与社会实践——尤其是是持续性强、自主性强的一类，是非常有助于自我定位与个人规划的。

Participation in social practice - especially in a continuous and autonomous kind - is very helpful for self-orientation and personal planning.

标化选择放手

说实话，在标化方面我一直没有一段特别持续专注的投入。

To be honest, I have never worked particularly hard on my standardized tests.

一个原因是我对自己择校的目标定位就是小而精的文理学院，语言成绩的不足可以用面试/视频等方式弥补；再者就是疫情影响，标化考试由于各种防疫需要而接连取消。

One reason is that my goal is to choose a small and selective liberal arts college, where the lack of language tests can be made up by interviews or videos. In addition, affected by the covid-19 pandemic, standardized tests have been canceled repeatedly due to epidemic prevention.

为了不让专注度被充满不确定性的标化考期一直分散，到后期我几乎选择了标化方面的全权放手，以至于语言考试的分数并不高，也并没有SAT/ACT成绩。这一点大家千万不要跟我学。

In order not to be distracted by the uncertain standardized test dates, I chose to give up all my standardized tests, which resulted in low scores on the language test and no SAT/ACT scores. Don't you ever learn that from me.

竞赛与活动

中国国际学生普遍花费相当大的精力于一些比较知名的竞赛，与他们相比，我的大部分课外活动聚焦于社会实践层面：其中不乏很多独创的非营利性项目，包括22年三月上海封锁时共同发起的医疗互助组织、自发组织的校内持续开展近三年的动物保护项目与环保项目、疫情初期面向津巴布韦失学儿童开展的多角度援助等等。

In contrast to other Chinese international students, who generally put a considerable amount of efforts into some famous competitions, I chose to participate in most of my extracurricular activities focused on social practice: many of them were original and non-profit projects, including the medical aid organization that I co-founded during the Shanghai covid blockade in March,2022, the 3-year-long animal protection and environmental projects that I organized on campus, the multifaceted aid program for dropout school kids in Zimbabwe during the early years of the covid pandemic, etc.

而奖项方面则包括社会机构颁发的公益凭证、公益实践类比赛、创业类比赛等。对我来说最深刻的印象还是来自于上海疫情期间的"守沪者"互助组织：在项目期间，我们从无到有搭建了一个及时响应急需药物治疗的患者获取药物的交互模型，在两个多月的努力中，集600多名志愿者的力量帮助了超过3000名求助者。

Speaking of the awards I have won, they include public service certificates presented by social organizations, public service practice competitions, and entrepreneurship competitions etc. I was most impressed by the "Shanghai Guarders" support group during the Shanghai covid blockade: While doing the project, we built an interactive model from scratch to respond to patients in urgent need of medication in a timely manner, and having worked on the project for over two months, we gathered more than 600 volunteers to help more than 3,000 people.

主文书前后近40稿

我的主文书前前后后一共打磨了接近四十稿。

期间在参考各方意见后做出过好几次结构上的大改变。

文书的内容就是由上述的主要活动发散而来，着重描写了我在经历这些项目时的心路历程与反思，与我的其他各项申请材料一同刻画出了一个比较鲜明的社会参与者/变革者形象。

I have revised and improved my main personal statement over and and over again, producing nearly 40 drafts.

During this time, I made several major structural changes after taking into account various opinions.

The content of my personal statement is derived from the main activities mentioned above.The article focuses on my experiences and reflections as I went through these projects, which, together with my other application materials, portrayed a clear image of a social participant/reformer.

申请路上，做的最重要的事情是……

反观我申请的整段历程，我认为最重要的一点就是：一定要时刻明晰自身的定位与目标。不随大流，不盲目地内化来自他人的压力与焦虑。在有目标参照的前提下以终为始地以自己的节奏前行。

Looking back, the most important lesson I have learned from my college application process is  that we must always be clear about our own positioning and goals. Don't follow what most of your peers do, and don't blindly internalize the stress and anxiety from others. Move at your own pace with your goals in mind by starting with the end.

比如当我刚开始了解申请流程时，既没有对自身能力与特质进行总结，也并未明晰升学的目标与方向。在这样的心境下，我无时无刻不在从周边环境中汲取压力：

For example, when I first started to understand the application process, I didn’t summarize my abilities and strengths, nor did I have a clear vision of my goals and direction for further education. In such a state of mind, I was taking pressure from my surroundings all the time:

是不是要像A一样去参加这个知名竞赛？B说这个培训项目会对升学很有帮助，要不要交钱？C都拿到名校教授推荐信了，我要不要也去报个1对1 Research？

Should I sign up for this well-known competition as A did? Should I pay for this training program because B said it would help with my college application? Should I also sign up for a 1-on-1 research because C has got recommendation letter from a professor at a prestigious college?

然而面对庞大的中国留学生市场，这样年年翻番的所谓"机会"也好，"噱头"也罢，何止千百个？然而对比拿到TOP10综合大学与文理学院的学生人数，却是年年只有百来人，今年更是再创新低。

However, facing the huge market of Chinese students, there are more than 1,000 so-called "opportunities" or "gimmicks" that double every year. However, compared with the number of students from Top 10 comprehensive universities and liberal arts colleges, there are only a 100 or so students every year, and this year is a record low.

我想表达的并不是这些"机会"质量不足，而是当一名学生在不具备基于自身情况进行甄别、判断的能力以前，繁杂的活动经历反而容易让他失去核心的竞争力，即俗话说的“特长”。

My point is not that the quality of these "opportunities" is inadequate, but that until a student has the ability to discern and judge based on his or her own circumstances, the complexity of his or her activities can easily deprive him or her of a core competency, the proverbial "specialty".

尤其是当招生官只能从短短几分钟内所阅读的申请材料中认识一名学生，他/她又如何能够心甘情愿地将offer发放给这样一名背景与多数学生趋于同质的申请者呢？

How can an admission officer willingly give an offer to a student whose background is homogeneous with most students, especially when he/she only knows a student from the application materials he/she has read about in a few minutes?

所以一定要在充满焦虑的大环境下保持属于自己的清醒与专注。真正去思考自己想要什么、适合什么，与目标之间还缺少怎样的努力。机会真的会青睐有准备的人。

Therefore, be sure to keep your own clarity and focus in a general environment full of anxiety, be sure to think about what you want, what suits you best, and how you can keep working hard to reach your goal because opportunity will really favor those who are prepared.

如何打动了招生官

我个人在材料中着重突出的是高度的社区参与度、对社会问题从现象到本质的挖掘与实践，同时具备较强的学术能力。而克莱蒙特-麦肯纳学院的校训正是"培养商界与政界的未来领袖"，由此可见学院所期望的学生必定需要具备强大的行动力与社会参与度。

What I have emphasized in my material is a high level of community involvement, a practical approach to social issues from the phenomenal to the essential, and strong academic skills. The motto of Claremont McKenna College is "to develop future leaders in business and politics," so it is clear that the College expects their students to have a strong sense of action and community involvement.

正如上文所说，在申请结束后，我从校内的升学指导老师口中了解到招生官愿意录取我的重要原因。在与本校外方校长Chris谈及对我申请材料的观感时，CMC的招生官认为：我的材料成功地塑造了一个饱满的领导者形象，同时展现了较高的分辨度。并且这个形象与第三方面试中我所展现的谈吐、观感比较吻合，体现了较高的真实性。这也要感谢当初学校极力建议学生参与并提交第三方面试。

As mentioned above, after I completed my college application, I learned from my college counselor at school the key reasons why the admission officers favored me. When I talked to Chris, our foreign  principal, about what he thought of my application materials, the admission officer at CMC felt that my material successfully portrayed a vivid leader and showed a high level of discernment. Besides,this image is consistent with the way I talked and viewed during the third-party interview, and it has shown a high degree of authenticity. Our school had strongly suggested that we should take an interview with the 3rd party and submit it. I owe my success a lot to this suggestion.

综上所述，对于广大申请者来说，若能够令招生官在通过浏览材料与文书后于脑海中形成一个鲜明饱满，且符合大学预期录取者的形象，那么我们就算是成功了。

To sum up, we will succeed if we are able to  form a clear and full image of the applicant that meets the university's expectations in the admission officer's mind after he or she has read through the documents and papers.

申请季里最难的部分

我认为最难的环节其实是对尺度的把控：对自身水平的丈量、对申请院校所属阶梯的认知和对如何以合适的语言描写展现自身特质的掌控。

I think the most difficult part is the control of the scale: how to measure your own level, what do you know about the level of the college to which you are applying, and how to present one's own qualities in appropriate language.

在世界格局与政治因素变幻的背景下，能够相对精确地做到这些是很难的。就结果而言我已经非常满意了，因为这所学校也可以说是众多高校中最符合我特质的。

With the changing world patterns and political factors,it’s very difficult to achieve these precisely. As far as the result is concerned, I have been very satisfied, because this college suits me best among many others.

给学弟学妹的一些建议

有一个点我认为强调百遍都不足为过：一定要在申请材料中体现自己的分辨度，而不是盲目随大流地堆砌活动和奖项。而这的前提就是最好在早期就初步建立以终为始的行动模式，通过明晰目标或方向来反推自己接下来要做的事情，并时时对自身保持清楚的认知。 再者，不用盲目追求所谓的大牛推荐信，或是一些光鲜亮丽的第三方凭证，在申请季，最适合/了解你的才是最有价值的。招生官早就见多了空洞的模版化内容，申请的本质就是通过文书与材料的媒介，尽可能地将真实的你展现在招生官面前。 最后，校内成绩一定要把握住，GPA是所有申请硬件中最不可缺少的，牢牢把握住绩点后，才有资格跟真正有实力的申请者竞争。

I think one thing can never be overly emphasized: be sure to reflect your discernment in your application materials, rather than follow suit by blindly piling up activities and awards as you go along. The premise of this is that it is best to establish an early pattern of action that begins with the end in mind, to reflect on what you want to do next by clarifying your goals or directions, and to maintain a clear understanding of yourself at all times. Furthermore, there is no need to blindly pursue the letters of recommendation from so-called Daniu or some shiny third-party credentials; during the application season, what suits or knows you best is the most valuable. Admission officers have been seeing a lot of empty template content. The essence of the application is to try your best  to show the real you in front of the admission officers by means of documents and materials. The GPA is the most important prerequisites for college application, and only when you have had a secure command of your GPA, will you be qualified to compete with other tough applicants.

文章转载自：【上海宏润博源】